Preparing My: Emotional EpiPen

Expecting myself to be regulated in every single situation is a setup for blame, shame and looping into trauma patterns.

For the remainder of this month’s Response-Ability Digest, want to do something with me? A little experiment perhaps?

Let’s imagine we are able to press pause and take a time out on any false expectations and beliefs that have been created by both this system we live in and the imperfection we’ve inherited for just a moment… And in the time there is a pause, what if we become available to participating in Being Human in a new way - A way that includes compassion and honesty.

What does this look like?

It looks like searching for and becoming open to Self-Understanding - And then, humbly matching support to that understanding.

If it’s ok, I’d like to share a personal story as an illustration:

Years ago, I developed an allergy to certain stinging creatures… Yep. Lots of swelling and pain and fear when those little guys would show up. There was enough of an allergic reaction that it got my attention and I made an appointment to visit a Dr…

I explained the allergic reaction then:

She said: “Maybe it’s better if you carried an EpiPen.”

(Notice she didn’t say: “Why didn’t you think beforehand and apply that principle and be a better person around the stinging creature? You must be a horrible person for having this allergic reaction.”)

Do you see? When it comes to physiological sensations and reactions that are understood, there is acceptance. And understanding and acceptance open me up to receiving support with ease and no judgement…

What I see in working with my imperfect self (and many amazing clients), is that the physiological sensations and reactions that are not understood, kick out acceptance and are immediately placed in the blame, shame, control category.

It is from the space of lacking acceptance and misunderstanding what our bodies are communicating, that we take ourselves out of the availability to receive support.

Just like, at one point in my life I needed to carry a Regular EpiPen for those stinging creatures to bring my body back into physical balance. I may need to carry an Emotional EpiPen for the Nervous System to receive support and come back into a Ventral Vagal (regulated state) when the environment around me or inside of me needs support to know that I am safe.

Because:

If I am experiencing something that the Nervous System has deemed unsafe, it will begin to move through the different stages of safety shutdown automatically. Not my fault - my body’s natural way of keeping me safe.

And

If my body got stung by a stinging creature, I would begin having a immune reaction to the venom automatically. Not my fault - my body not knowing how to work with venom.

So I ask You what I ask Myself:

What would your Emotional EpiPen look like?

This is the time to explore and be creative! With this we are looking for something that supports you to Know you are Safe. That’s it. The nervous system needs to be provided with knowledge of safety to begin regulating into a Ventral state again. Just like the immune system needs a shot of adrenaline to combat the venom from the stinging creatures.

What does safe mean to you? For me sometimes it means

• Having a Session with my Coach

• Watching The Office

• Finding the right Medication, Homeopathic, Herb or Essence

• Eating or Drinking something

• Saying a Prayer

• Getting a cozy cup of Coffee

• Talking with a Friend

• Cuddling my Pup

The thing is - safety and connection need to be met for the Nervous System to begin to regulate and allow the Brain to open up and experience clear thinking and choice. This is how the body works.

What if…

Before you let the pause button up - you made a commitment to listening for when judging your natural physiological reactions gets in the way of safety and connection? And if you need help discerning this? Reach out - I’m here. This is what I can support you with.

There is hope and you are not alone. Nope.

PS:

You know what?

My body isn’t allergic to stinging creatures anymore… I no longer carry that kind of EpiPen with me because it isn’t needed. But when I see a stinging creature, my brain and nervous system want me to be alert because they remember a time when that kind of creature was dangerous to me. So I bring out my Emotional EpiPen - I notice 3 breaths, remind myself that I am safe and I allow the fear sensations to pass through with no judgement. Or I leave the area quickly… ;-p

So much love and a big hug,

Alecia

Practical Application:

This month, why not be Curious - Observe your thoughts, emotions and sensations as you explore which physical things you allow yourself to receive support for and which ones you do not!

How would you answer:

Why is receiving support for one physiological reaction more acceptable that the other?

What physiological reactions do I experience as acceptable in my life? What ones do I blame myself for?

What could be my Emotional EpiPen?

What helps me feel safe?

SERIES: I am Not a Scientist - But I’m Learning Science Things

Why is the Vagus Nerve Important?

Everybody… Meet your Vagus Nerve…

It’s been waiting for you, right there in the central part of your body, working hard and being amazing. And you’ve been going out hanging with the cool kids not seeing what’s right there supporting you all along.

Not anymore.

Hey you beautiful Vagus Nerve… Thank you for doing what you do - I’m gonna listen and care for you in new ways now!

Some Science Facts about the Vagues Nerve:

• Vagus means “Wandering” and it’s a good name for this nerve since it wanders from the brain stem through the body and into the gut. It’s the longest nerve in our body in fact!

• The 10th cranial nerve

• The primary component of the Parasympathetic Nervous System

• Regulates mood, immunity, digestion, and heart rhythm

• Heart rate, blood pressure, perspiration, digestion, and speech are all influenced by this nerve

Look at that beauty in the illustration below…

Wowee Zowee

It’s just the beginning of getting to know how to listen to this magnificent nerve… How it communicates over 80% of the information gathered both internally and externally up to our brain and sends down 20% of the information from the brain to the body. This is called Afferent and Efferent Nerve Fibers and we will talk more about that next month!

A Science-y Hug from Your Coach,

Alecia

* LEARNING BONUS *

Click the links below to watch two brief videos:

NEW MONTHLY FEATURE

GRATITUDE HIGHLIGHT OF THE MONTH:

Thank you…

Amanda

In this new monthly feature, I wish to thank someone who has contributed to my safety & connection as I grow and share this vital work with anyone that finds it supportive.

I’d like to thank Amanda for being a support and a cheerleader for me to keep going and offering this Trauma-Informed Coaching. She helps me almost daily to focus and move forward - even when my artistic brain wants to run around in circles - she lovingly and patiently is an integral part of my team.

Thank you Dear One

Alecia