But I waaaant: Tips, Tricks and to be Fixed

Well. Here we are again.

Me & You.

Being Human together on this earth. Here we are in August (or whatever month). Here we are on a Monday (or whatever day). Here we are in the year 2022 C.E. (or whatever year).

Here we are… again. I’ve read that lately there are many feeling that nothing really matters.

Perhaps we are collectively experiencing a Bohemian Rhapsody moment… And then again, perhaps we are in need of a reminder of what Being Human is about.

So put your seatbelts on my Dear One - What I am about to say will be super annoying to some parts of you. It’s ok, we are in a safe space where being annoyed is part of the process of growth.

Here is another not a secret-secret:

The thing about Being Human, is that it is an Interactive Experience. To experience an Inter-Active state, I will see that there is a “mutually or reciprocally active" interchange.

No matter how much my imperfect brain thinks I am able to “set it and forget it”, the fact is that that is not possible. As a Human, I was made to Interact with:

• Other Humans

• The Earth & all of Creation

• God

• and Myself

Disharmony and lots of Extra yucks are born when I resist Interacting… And yet, the part of me that is imperfect sits all cozied up in a state of resistance to growth, learning, and interaction with each of those things listed above - And I See disharmony abounds all around me.

So here I am, an Imperfect Human, seemingly at an impasse… The necessity for Interaction vs the resistance that is inherently embedded in Imperfection.

There is Hope of course.

This is not an exercise to exacerbate an existential crisis within… Because, alongside of all of this, I am gifted with: Free Will.

And

I can use that Free Will to See WHEN I am caught to resisting interacting and caught to a limiting belief created by imperfection and from there, I choose to become Interactive once again, and again and again and again.

Synonyms for Interactive:

action - contact - involvement - know how - knowledge - maturity - participation - patience - practice - reality - sense - skill - struggle -training - understanding - wisdom

For a moment, ponder with me or even just let these words flow through your mind. Perhaps even read them once again. Let these words inspire the part of you that knows Free Will is inside of you. That wise part of you knows that Choice is Here no matter how challenging the circumstances are that you are in. Let these words hold you fast to the power of true support each of us are given with every single breath our bodies breathe.

The thing is: The desire for Tips, Tricks and to be Fixed is quite a natural one. No one wants to experience the pain of growth, or the discomfort brought on from the effects of imperfection.

If you are reading this and are wishing that what you are going through was in fact not what you are going through, I have 3 things to share with you:

1. I am so very sorry Dear One. I am sorry for the pain you are experiencing. I too wish it wasn’t happening.

2. It’s ok to want it to go away. It’s ok to not like it. Why would you like this hard thing? As my clients have heard me say “If you liked this, we would have an entirely different conversation.”

3. The Starting Point for finding what supports you does not come from panic searching for being fixed. It comes from acceptance, listening and matching what is really needed in This Moment.

From Here, let’s look together at how to respond in a House Fire as an Illustration:

So, I’m sitting in my room, and I hear the fire alarm ring through the air - I’m startled - I hope that it’s just an old battery or someone burning toast… But I see flames and know for sure that this is not a drill.

Let’s play a little game now… Would you put all the actions below in the correct order for what is most safe if you were in a house fire? (You’ll find the Answer Key at the end)

1. Look for and determine the source of the fire

2. Call the Emergency Hotline for the Fire Department

3. Educate myself on fire prevention

4. Clean up from the effects of the fire

5. Text my friend that they haven’t been there to support me through the fire. In fact, no one is ever here for me and nothing matters anyway. Fires are dumb and I guess I have to save everyone and do everything on my own once again. Wait, let me take a selfie to prove how bad this fire is and how cute I look in a fire.

6. Grieve, Feel, Cry, Be Angry, Emote.

7. Get a hug, a blanket, a safe place to sleep, clean air, be with a friend or family member, pray, and some nourishing food

You see, when things are challenging, or I am experiencing a hardship or trauma, the order of HOW I receive support matters. Many people want to start with the letter D. Cleaning up from the effects of what I am experiencing BEFORE even noticing fully what is happening in the first place. This leads to frustration, disappointment and blame for both me and others around me.

OF COURSE I do not want something hard to happen.

But the truth is, we live in this system right now and hard things happen. If I resist interacting with what is around me because I am busy judging myself and others, I will miss out on what is needed for This Moment and this hard thing.

I have been a Professional in the field of the Healing Arts for over 27 years now, and I have seen so many people run from tips to tricks and thing to thing trying to avoid Being Human. Please know that many tips and tricks are very beneficial, but I do not often share them with you at first because the order on which we find how to match support is VITAL in true growth and balanced well-being.

In fact, a breathing technique introduced at the wrong time, could cause more pain (I experienced this very thing years ago - feel free to ask me about this in session OR if enough of you ask, maybe I’ll tell the story in a future RAD).

So the Real Tip? The best Trick? No, not being fixed…

First we learn together HOW to become interactive in Being Human alongside of Acceptance. Then we begin to explore HOW to choose what supportive technique would match the challenge at hand. I know you can do this. Whatever you are experiencing. I know it. And soon you will too.

With a great big hug and no fancy tricks,

Your Coach,

Alecia

*Answer Key: B, G/F or F/G (continuously throughout), A, D, C (and if I can do G/F enough, I’ll stay away from E)

Practical Application:

This month, let’s notice the order of HOW I usually find support when undergoing a challenge or a hard thing in my life.

Questions to Ponder:

1. Am I trying to Fix what is happening Before I know what I am experiencing?

2. Am I lost in my mind to blame and judgement about what is happening?

3. Am I panic searching for a way to not feel what I am feeling?

WHEN I Notice these 3 things why not experiment with Being Interactive! Why not play with the learning curve of growth in discomfort?

Here are some ways to work with Being Human when I See that I am trying to “fix” something in my world:

1. STOP. Notice the Body IS Breathing for at least 3 breaths OR until your mind has acknowledged you are in This Moment and not lost to the Past or Future. You may need to keep repeating Step 1 throughout what you are experiencing.

2. Ask Myself: What is Needed in This Moment? What is Extra? What can I let go of? What is my motivation for (my next action)?

3. Experiment with Including noticing the Body Breathes when I am putting my Support Plan in action.

4. Repeat to Step 1 any time a Sensation, Emotion or Thought becomes hyper-focused.

5. Get Support. Get out of Isolation. Find a safe place to Coregulate.

Enjoy these 2 brief videos with Dr. Russ Harris and then Dr. Daniel Amen on how to work with your own brain and sensations, emotions and thoughts!

SERIES: I am Not a Scientist - But I’m Learning Science Things

The Sea Monster in My Brain

Unsurprisingly, the word Hippocampus comes from the Greek language and this word means: Sea Monster. So, yeah, the next time you feel like a monster is in that cutey patootie brain of yours, well maybe… Noooo I’m kidding, although the Hippocampus does actually resemble a Sea Horse, it isn’t a monster up there. But it does play an amazing role in memory recall and in learning.

Just like the Amygdala, the Hippocampus comes in a pair as well, one for each hemisphere located just above the ear in the Temporal lobe of the brain. It really does a great job of storing new memories and working with the amygdala through associating emotions and sensations that make these memories stronger.

Another interesting Hippocampus tidbit is that it is involved with our spatial memory. OR perhaps better said, remembering where I put my keys or how to get to the store and back home.

Our precious Hippocampi are very effected by long term stress (perhaps you notice memory is more of a challenge in stressful times), and these little ones actually can atrophy after severe traumatic stress.

Want to care for these 2 memory babies up in your brain?

According to Medical News Today

Taking care of your hippocampus

A person can protect their brain health in many different ways. This can also help the hippocampus stay healthy.

Some of the steps a person can take to protect brain health may include:

• managing chronic health issues, including high blood pressure, diabetes, and high cholesterol levels

• following a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and legumes

• maintaining a moderate weight

• engaging in regular physical activity

• managing stress levels, if possible

• limiting alcohol consumption, if they consume alcohol

• getting enough sleep every night

• quitting smoking, if they smoke

Participating in community programs and social activities may also help improve brain function and overall health.

Volunteering, learning new skills, reading books, or getting engaged in activities such as music, dance, and theater could be beneficial, particularly for older adults.”

So, my beautiful Sea Monsters of Memory and Spatial Recall, go out there and take care of these two. They need you. They are small and mighty and so grateful for your participation.

In Science and Safety, Laughter and Connection,

Alecia

* LEARNING BONUS *

Click the links below to watch and learn about your phenomenal Hippocampus:

NEW MONTHLY FEATURE

GRATITUDE HIGHLIGHT OF THE MONTH:

Thank you…

John & Judi

You two.

Thank you for teaching me how to be resilient in times of challenges. For showing me that when everything turns upside down, there is always another way to grow. I am inspired daily by each of you. Your love of life, learning and your spiritual guidance in relationship to truth and growth.

Without you, I would not be here… Yeah, you two gave me a share of each of your genetic codes. And here I am: A life loving wildly inspired insomniac - ready to look at the world and my circumstances from unusual heights and depths.

Thank you for teaching me how to look at problems and keep my relationship to truth and love - no matter what.

Thank you for showing me that growth happens into forever.

I love you both very much.

Alecia